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Learn how to say no (and not feel guilty about it)

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A young woman crossing her arms across her body.

Let’s talk about something super important: learning how to say ‘no’ without feeling like the worst person ever. We’ve all been there – juggling assignments, part-time jobs and social life while trying to keep our sanity intact. It’s time to embrace the power of “no” and reclaim your time and energy. Here’s how to do it without the internal guilt trip!

The myth of saying ‘yes’

First off, let’s debunk a myth. Saying ‘yes’ to everything doesn’t make you a superhero; it makes you exhausted. We’re all guilty of it – agreeing to extra shifts, joining too many study groups and committing to every social event. But spreading yourself too thin can lead to burnout and stress, especially in the middle of a busy semester. Remember, your time is precious. Saying no is about prioritising your wellbeing.

The art of the gentle no

Saying no doesn’t have to be harsh. It’s all about the delivery. Here are some friendly ways to turn down requests:

  1. Be polite and honest: “I’d love to help, but I’ve got a lot on my plate right now.”
  2. Offer an alternative: “I can’t make it this time, but maybe next week?”
  3. Keep it simple: “I’m sorry, I can’t.”

These approaches show you’re considerate and sincere, without over-committing yourself.

Why saying no is important

Understanding why it’s crucial to say no can help you feel more confident about it. Here’s why:

  • Protect your time: You only have 24 hours in a day. Use them wisely.
  • Focus on priorities: Saying no to less important tasks means you can concentrate on what truly matters.
  • Maintain balance: It’s essential to keep a healthy balance between work, study and personal time.

Practical tips for saying no

  1. Know your limits: Be aware of your schedule and commitments. If you’re already swamped, it’s okay to turn down additional requests.
  2. Practice assertiveness: Being assertive is about respecting your own needs as well as others’. Practice saying no in a firm but friendly manner.
  3. Don’t over-explain: You don’t owe anyone a lengthy explanation. A simple no with a brief reason is enough.
  4. Use technology: If face-to-face refusals are tough, use texts or emails. They can give you time to craft your response without pressure.
  5. Remember your goals: Keep your personal and academic goals in mind. If saying yes doesn’t align with them, it’s an easy no.

Dealing with guilt

Feeling guilty after saying no is common, but you can learn to let it go. Here’s how:

  • Self-compassion: Remind yourself that it’s okay to prioritise your needs.
  • Perspective: Think about how often others say no and how little it affects you. Apply the same logic to yourself.
  • Positive affirmations: Reinforce your right to say no. Try mantras like, “I deserve to put myself first sometimes.”

The long-term benefits

By mastering the art of saying no, you’ll notice several positive changes:

  • Reduced stress: Less over-commitment means less stress.
  • Improved focus: More time for what’s important improves productivity and focus.
  • Better relationships: Being honest about your availability builds respect and trust with the people who matter most to you.

Saying no is a skill worth mastering. It’s about protecting your time, maintaining balance and prioritising your well-being. So next time someone asks for a favour, remember: it’s okay to say no. Your future self will thank you!

Now go out there and practice the power of no – you’ve got this!

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